Driving Education

Hello fellow drivers. I thought I should take the time to initiate some rules which I thought most people knew, but am realizing they don't. I know some of these might come as a huge shock to you, but bare with me, you need to know and live these rules.

1. When driving in the high speed lane, you know the far left lane, please make sure you drive faster than 55 mph. You are seriously going to cause an accident driving below the speed limit. This lane is designated for people who do not fear the law and want to drive reckless. Move aside, please.

2. I am more than willing to let you over, should you happen to use that little stick on the side of your wheel called a turn signal. That fact that you narrowly miss my bumper and then think it's appropriate to flip ME off is absurd. Take a breather and then if after 5 minutes, decide if you're still ready to cut me off. Patience is a virtue, my friend.

3. Driving in the rain does not mean you need to hide under bridges with your hazards on. This only works if you're on a motorcycle. It's completely understandable if want to drive cautiously, have children in the vehicle, or just plain scared of crashing. Let's start with turning your lights on, a common mistake many drivers make. Not only did you sneak up on me driving insanely fast for the weather conditions, but you failed to turn your lights on and I did not have ample time to move aside (see #1). Or, you have not taken two seconds to turn your lights on and I near your rear end because I do not see you. Driving in the rain is not a Bob Marley song ("Turn Your Lights Down Low"). So please, turn your lights on.

4. Lane closed, merge. This seems like a simple concept, however, the fact that most people will not let others merge or drive in the pending closed lane until the very last minute are what causes traffic jams. If you are like me, you will force your Honda Civic in both lanes, blocking the people who try to cut everyone off at the last minute. Silently, all will cheer for the one car that descended from heaven to anger the one impatient driver, who most likely is driving a luxury vehicle and who you are secretly wishing is just leasing and cannot afford to actually outright buy.

5. Weaving in and out of traffic. Are you really in that big of a hurry? As Carrie Bradshaw says, "oh you're so busy, you're SOO busy??". Can you really not stand to wait 4 seconds until you can clearly pass another car? Do you really want to risk a major accident all because you need to get to Starbucks 2 cars ahead of me? Really? I hope your hot coffee spills on you.