Epiphany

I've recently discovered my career path. Why have I been wasting money getting my masters when I can be working fast food? Time and time again I've asked myself, "Self, what are you going to do with your life?" and always I have responded, "who the hells knows".

But, these questions came to a screaming halt when I realized I could be flipping burgers for a living. Hear me out...

Reason #1. They make decent money. Did you know most fast food workers start at nearly $9/hour? That's double what I made at my first job.

Reason #2. Overtime. I see the same Wendy's workers day AND night. How great is it a company willing to let their employees work 24/7. Hard to find in this economy.

Reason #3. No makeup. Who wants to wear makeup when the grease will just ruin a perfectly painted face.

Reason #4. Hair-nets. Need I say more? No more straightening, curling, blowdrying. Plus, I know husbands around the country secretly are turned on by such an accessory.

Reason #5. Growth opportunity. Because hey, no one wants to be caught in a dead end job. Can you say substitute assistant manager?

Reason #6. Employee perks. Those fries aren't free unless you work there. Or show the drive through worker your goods. Patty didn't appreciate that my last Wendy's visit.

Reason #7. Corporate parties. I've encountered many employees who must have just returned from one of these. There is no other explanation for smelling like alcohol.

It is because of all these reasons, I've decided to run out on my lunch break to gather any and all available applications. I have yet to discuss this career change with Jason, but I'm 100% sure he will back me up. He's supportive that way.